Slayer's Diary

Angel was here. He came to see me. Because I'm sick and in bed I guess. I'm not really sick, and I'm not going to stay in bed tomorrow. Everyone is acting like I'm dying. Except Dawn. She's too busy with Connor. So back to the point. I was just going through this one book Fred gave me. Not really reading it. Just going through it. I was bored. And then someone knocked on my door.
"Come in," I said without even asking who it was. Why would I ask? There are so many people around this place now and everyone is a friend.
"Hey, Buffy. How are you feeling?" he asked and when I heard his voice I looked at him, till then I was still looking at that silly physics book. What's so interesting in physics? I don't see it.
"Oh, Angel. I'm good. I'm great actually. Did you kill that demon?" I asked. Straight to the slayer topics. I should really take lessons from normal everyday talk.
He took a chair and put it close to my bed and then sit on it. He just looked at me for a secund or two.
"Yes. That went well." he said finally.
"I could have been there with you guys and help you," I said, trying to make him realize I'm fine.
"Faith told me you almost died," he said instead of agreeing with me and telling I was right. Damn, Faith, shouldn't Slayer take Slayer's side or something?
"Nothing new. Besides, I already died twice and look at me all alive and well!" I said turning it all to a joke. Or trying to at least.
"Don't play with your life Buffy," he said seriously. I really thought something was wrong with him. I mean it was Angel, my dead ex vampire boyfriend.
"Well, I'm fine. And I'm gonna go patroling tomorrow!" I said making my point again.
"Ok. Get some sleep tonight and we will talk tomorrow," he said and got up and put the chair back to its place. I thought he was leaving. He went to the door and then he stopped all of a sudden. He looked back at me. For a minute we were just looking at each other. He got close to my bed again and for a moment I thought he was gonna kiss me. I don't know why. Just a stupid thought. However, Angel just took my hand and put something on my palm. It felt like a peace of metal. He wraped my fingers around it and I just had it in my hand but I didn't even know what it was. It felt like I was under a spell. I was just looking at him and feeling his hand on mine.
"I'm glad you're okay. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you," he said and touched my face. Then I saw it on his finger. I wasn't sure. He moved his hand so fast. And he left before I was able to say something. I was alone in my bedroom again, thinking if it could really be it. Then I remembered I was hodling something in my hand. I opened my hand and there on my palm it was. So, I wasn't wrong. He was really wearing a Claddagh ring on his finger. One just as same as this one on my palm. Where did he get them? How? Why? So many questiong were going through my head. Memories, past...it all went through my head.

"I have something for you. For your birthday. I... I was gonna give it to you earlier, but..."Angel said and reached in his pocket taking out a ring with an intricate design.
"It's beautiful." I said.
"My people -- before I was changed -- they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty... and the heart... Well, you know... Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody. Like this." he explained me and then showed me his own ring on his finger. I touched his hand, leand
over and kissed the ring.
"Put it on," he told me, but he took it from my hand and put it onto my finger himself.

I remember how scared I was then. I was crying. He was supposed to leave. But he didn't. Still like he did. Things turned bad after that. Why did he give me that ring today again? After all those years. What does he want from me? Why is he wearing the claddagh ring? Again so many questions and no real answers. I'm just going to bed now. To get some goodnight sleep like he said. If I manage to fall asleep now, with all these thoughts in my head.


loves ya always
B.